January 7, 2008 at 9:47 pm · Filed under Knowledge
Oops, forgot a few from that page o’ tough questions. (Part I | Part II)
- Is it “open sees me” or “open says me”?
I am ashamed to say that I’m only sort of ashamed to say that I still remember Kristy McNichol joining the Osmonds in an Ali Baba sketch on the third season of the Donny & Marie Show, and it was definitely “open says me,” which joke was hi-larious to a certain six-year-old.
- Can dogs be mentally retarded?
We all know some stupid dogs if we’re really honest with ourselves. Ruh-roh.
- Why don’t they build into cars a secret button for police to use, and when these people are trying to get away from police down the freeway and city streets at 100 mph, the following police car could push the button, making the engine on the speeding car stop? Surely there must be some smart person who could make this.
Too expensive, too impossible to hide, too hackable, too tempting to annoy your friends with.
- Why does having a foreign accent make a person seem more attractive?
Pure novelty. It’s charming that they’ve bothered to learn our language and it’s equally charming that they’re bad at speaking it.
- How often are presidents born, and how often do they die? Do they die in bunches, or on average every four years?
The average U.S. president is 56.2 years old when taking office. Made it up! Most tend to die in their 60s or 70s. Most die in July, and they never, ever die in May or on an Election Day. Adams I and Jefferson died on July 4, 1826 for patriotic reasons, and Monroe did the same five years later. Notwithstanding all of that, it’s a highly stupid question.
- When a fly lands on a ceiling, does it execute a barrel roll or an inside loop?
Everyone knows it does half of a Pugachev’s cobra.
January 7, 2008 at 8:12 pm · Filed under Knowledge
In which I drop more knowledge on you:
(The original questions on Slate | Part I of my answers | Part IIa)
- If an unscrupulous bar owner was to mix diethylene to, say, whiskey, what would the effect be on the consumer?
I assume this means diethylene glycol, the antifreeze ingredient that has found its way into dollar-store Chinese toothpaste, etc. The bar customers could expect a slightly sweeter drink, as if infused with simple syrup, and a drink that would be unlikely to freeze, obviously. Add the juice of a lemon and a cherry and the effect on the consumer would be equivalent to that of a refreshing whiskey sour, accompanied of course by total renal failure.
- I am an Afro-American woman. I am in my youthful 50s. My hair is strong and a little past the shoulders. I wear it pressed (hot combed or flat iron). It is also a salt-and-pepper color; I get great compliments on it. The problem I have is static. Could you give me some tips on what to use to stop this?
Great question, Ms. Rice! I would recommend poking the bristles of a hairbrush through a dryer sheet of tolerable fragrance. Style as usual. Hugs, Ryan
- There was the most beautiful sunset here in Indiana last evening. Would the California fires have anything to do with that?
Sunsets depend on particulates in the sky. Dust + smog + secret unexplained extra magic makes awesome sunsets in Arizona, particularly (no pun intended none taken) during the winter, and I can still remember the crazy good sunsets from my childhood in Washington state after Mt. St. Helens blew chunks. I can only imagine that fire helps things sunsetationally along. Indiana’s sort of far from California, but it seems reasonable to assume that if we can fly from there to there in a few hours, smoke can make the trip in a few days.
- I haven’t seen this in the news, but perhaps you could explain it anyway. Why do people feel like destroying things when angry?
Frustration leads to irritable aggression which leads to catharsis. The amygdala, a part of the brain I may or may not have just made up, fills up with zombie rage (aka testosterone) and if the rage is undirected or undirectable, whatever happens to be on hand will do as a target.
- Why do most reptiles go to sleep when you rub their bellies? I have done it myself with everything from domestic water dragons to wild alligators, but I heard recently that it is bad for them—and they only appear to be sleeping, when in fact they are having trouble breathing. Is this true?
It’s probably a submissive posture or playing dead when they feel vulnerable. I call it possumification, just like when Leila bites Doug’s ear and Doug goes totally mellow and limp like he’s enjoying the fun friend attack. Once she moves a little and he has an angle, he starts growling and hissing and the fangs come up. It’s clear that possumification isn’t actually fun to the possumificatee.
- Would it be possible to “shoot” someone with “lightning”? Like, a Taser with no electrodes.
Sure. Build up a large static charge and make sure your victim is highly ionized.
- Why do men almost never win on ABC’s Wheel of Fortune?
Wheel of Fortune and Facebook Boggle contestants are female 68% of the time (I made this up but it sounds about right, doesn’t it?), so that plus women’s generally higher verbal aptitude means luck be a lady.
- Are any of the scorpions in central Vietnam deadly? I was stung three times one night, and evacuated to a hospital where doctors said the one that stung me was the only lethal one in Vietnam. Truth or lie?
Lie, obviously. You are still alive.
- Why don’t we drop medical waste and nuclear waste into active volcanoes, the “ultimate high-temperature incinerators”?
We know from above sunset explanation that volcano gunk gets in the sky, and volcanoes are hot but not hot enough to kill everything that needs killing in medical and nuclear waste. Also, if you’ve ever read a comic book, you know this reasonable-seeming sort of idea is doomed to create a legion of supervillains.
- Hello. I am an editor and writer and I would like for everyone to change some letters that are now in lowercase to uppercase. An example would be the 18th century to the 18th Century. Where does one go about starting to do this?
For that particular practice, I would recommend going back to the 18th century itself. Or Germany.
